Holidays!

Hey everybody, happy whatever holiday you happen to celebrate! Let us enjoy eggnog and fudge and all sorts of traditional, fat-laden dishes while we celebrate the fact that we didn't spontaniously blow up because a primitive calendar said so. 

Cheers!

Important Documents

...are important.

When/if you have your birth certificate, high school diploma and high school transcripts...HANG ON TO THAT SHIT. It is hard as hell and very expensive to get ahold of again.

I HAVE SPOKEN.

Life happens sometimes, and it sucks.

Sooo....the last time we left our intrepid hero, she had just gotten out of the hospital and was still sick as holy fuck. A few things have changed since then...namely, there is no longer a boyfriend for some...interesting reasons, and there is also no longer a home. The two are partially related. I'm crashing with an awesome friend who is letting me stay with him while he can, and I'm going to see about signing up with the Air Force since...well, work just isn't providing me with enough hours to earn enough to live off of, and I can't continue depending on someone else for a place to sleep. I've never really wanted to have anything to do with the military, but right now it's my best option...work and guaranteed room and board as long as they keep me on, and they'll provide health insurance, which I desperately need. Also, since I need a vehicle but cars are freakin' expensive, I may be instead working towards a cheap motorcycle (found a few a hell of a lot cheaper than any car I've located) and learning how to ride one of those instead. Cheaper on gas, anyway.

So, in general this month has been full of complete suck. The only really good things that have happened so far is that a friend was willing and able to give me a place to stay for now, and that I may be getting a nice bonus at work for this drawing of the company mascot I did that the district manager really, REALLY liked and is submitting to the company head as a possible christmas plush/card that would be featured throughout the holiday season if it gets approved, which I'd be credited for. So, not only a possible foot in the door with the design world, but a nice bonus as well if it's approved! All because I got bored on break and sketched the mascot dog.

Oh, and I cut my hair really really short, and may dye part of it. I'm thinking bleaching my bangs white and doing purple streaks, leaving some of the white streaked through. Could be cool. Can't do that if I do get into the Air Force, though, so I'm waiting on it. One of my coworkers told me something interesting...she said that she's found that after an extreme emotional upheaval or distress or big change, people tend to change their appearance somehow...most often by cutting or dyeing their hair. I never thought about it, but she's right. Every time I've hacked my hair off or dyed it a weird color or when I got my naval pierced (need to get it re-pierced, the hole closed up) something horrible had happened shortly before. Then again, my life has pretty much been nothing BUT horrible events for the most part, so it could be coincidental. Meh.

Sorry for the lack of posts, but I haven't had the time or energy to make with the funnies. Maybe when things start looking better.

Emercency Room Funtimes

So, funtimes, I got to go to the ER last night.

Important stuff...I'm mostly okay, just still kind of dizzy and having trouble walking and all, but that's normal for me, and they gave me paperwork for MediCal and this other assistance thing so I can sign up for one to help pay for it and all the medications they've had to prescribe to me that they want me to start taking RIGHT NOW, and the list of doctors they want me to visit so they can pinpoint exactly all the things that are wrong with me and how to fix them.

I was at work when it started...I was feeling pretty crappy all day, but I needed hours so I went in to work anyway and put on my cheerful face. What a lot of people don't know about me is that even when I'm in a lot of pain or hurting emotionally or whatever, I'm still really good at putting forth a peppy, happy little girl persona that doesn't show anything is wrong. This is probably why my HR was really surprised when I approached her, nearly in tears, telling her that I really needed to go home after a few hours of trying to work and having the pain in my chest and the severe dizziness and disorientation get worse, and I couldn't breathe very well. She sent me home, Boyfriend picked me up but we went to his brother's new house instead of home, because he wanted to go visit with them. I ended up asking him twice how far it was to walk home, because at this point I was hurting enough that rationality went out the window and I just wanted to go home right damn now, and if he wouldn't take me then I'd get there myself. We headed home, but I started hyperventilating and the muscles in my legs and arms started seizing up, curling my hands into this weird shape that I couldn't get them out of, and making my legs go totally stiff. I was sobbing hysterically by this point, Zack asked if I wanted to go to the hospital and I said no, it'd be too expensive. He called his parents and they unanimously decided that my reason for not wanting to go to the hospital was bullshit and I was going. By the time we got to the hospital I was hunched over bawling like a baby, hurting more than I'd ever thought it was possible to hurt before, and honestly I was terrified and really thought I was going to die. Zack had to practically carry me into the hospital, and a nurse had to do pretty much the same to get me into one of the rooms. It took a while before they actually did anything, and my memory is pretty fuzzy here. All I really remember was crying a lot, saying 'it hurts' over and over while Zack kept telling me to hang in there and stay with him, the nurses barking at me to slow my breathing down but I COULDN'T, and yeah. Tests were run, blood was taken (I remember thinking that my blood was a really weird color- when I saw the syringe she'd taken it with, it wasn't crimson-red, it was more of a lighter red with purplish-pink tones) and many, many pills were administered, including some giant horse pills I could barely swallow. Zack left to go do some make-up work while they continued working on me...I don't really remember much of what happened there, but there were two big machines, one that they had to make me sit up for and since my left leg had gone completely stiff and I couldn't bend it or my waist without it feeling like it was on fire and about to explode, this was an exercise in agony...I vaguely remember screaming in pain and begging them to stop, that it hurt, but being ignored so they could get the little pad thingy behind me for the X-ray. Then there was another big machine that they put sticky pads on me all over for, and these two little patches on either of my sides labeled 'codeine' that I just took off a little while ago, since they left them on and they felt weird.

I don't remember a whole lot after that...I fell asleep twice, was given paperwork and taken outside in a wheelchair to wait for Zack to come get me and bring me home. We stopped at Albertson's real quick to get orange juice and bananas, since they were recommended to me to get my potassium levels back up since they were dangerously low, then went home, where I promptly collapsed into bed and zonked out until noon today.

Tomorrow for black friday I am supposed to work twelve hours. I'm not sure I can do it...I don't have the meds I'm supposed to have yet, and I'm still really fuzzy in the head and having trouble moving around, I'm still pretty shaky and hurting a bit now that the painkillers they gave me (good stuff, mind you) have worn off. I really hope I don't have to call in for that, though, because I REALLY need the overtime pay, especially now. Why now, of all times, did this have to happen?! Blargle.

Not exactly the Lion King...

DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER DONE IT.

Sorry!

Sorry about the lack of updates! Between working like mad (I've been called in on almost every day off I've had AND double-shifted, which I'm not complaining since I need the hours but it's still exhausting) moving and life in general, I haven't had much time to draw. When I finally had a little time to draw today, my camera decided to go "Haha screw you!" and die the pixelated death of suck (See, I hand-draw the stuff in my sketchbook, use a digital camera to take a picture of it to upload into photoshop, and color it and all there. I have no scanner, so that's not an option, and I'm not too terribly good at drawing with just digital.) so I am going to have to see if boyfriend has a camera/batteries I can borrow when he gets home, so I can actually upload it.

Sorry everyone!

Boyfriend's new hat. :3

I start my new job tomorrow, yaaaaay!

Anyway, with the job prep, moving prep and a lot of other stuff going on (including acting as boyfriend's mom's personal assistant the past week, which involves being up at 5 am every day and not getting home 'til late) I haven't had a lot of time for updates, and for that I am sorry. To try and make up for it, have a picture of boyfriend looking baleful in his new hat that his mom and I found for him. :D

He was actually pretty amused by it, particularly with this whole thing with a viking helmet thing he had when he was a kid. While his mom and I were giggling at it he was grinning, and I said I needed to get some pictures of it for here so everyone could see him in his new hat looking doleful.

BF: I don't look doleful. Doleful would be like this. (makes baleful expression)
Me: *camera click* :3
BF: NO no no no! That's not...
BF Mom: *laughing*

So that's the source of that pic. I have another one, but he looks happier in it and I thought this was funnier.

Also, another conversation we had started with his mother and I somehow getting on the subject of kilts. I brought up that I wanted to get Zack in a kilt someday, very much, but he was steadfastly refusing to wear it 'properly', if you know what I mean. Zack got involved in the conversation, William Wallace was invoked, and Zack agreed that if I can get him a kilt, a sword, the Scottish cap thing, bagpipes and the blue paint, he'll wear it all, properly, and even moon some brits for me if we can find some, and he'll let me videotape it and get pictures.

Challenge. Fucking. Accepted.

If you would like to donate to the "Get video of Zack traipsing around painted blue with a set of bagpipes in a kilt" fund, feel free to send something to my paypal at themuffinknight@hotmail.com on Paypal

The video will be on youtube someday. I swear it on the Celtic Isles!

Plushies and Job!

WHOO Finally got hired! :D I'll be working at Target now...it's currently a seasonal job, but if they like me enough they mentioned a possible permanent position, so yay! It also means that I'll be able to move into a new condo with my boyfriend, which is awesome. :3

Also, plushies.

Halloween Pony Plush 2

Got another one done!

I call him/her Blacklight. :3 Is it bad that I name the plushies I make?

The candle with the black center to the flame is totally not inspired by the black flame candle from Hocus Pocus, which is totally not one of my favorite halloween movies ever. In any way. It's not. Really.

If interested in purchasing, all the info is right here! https://www.etsy.com/listing/111055560/halloween-pony-plushies

APPLES ARE EVIL

I spent the other day, and most of yesterday, working on twenty four large jars of canned apples.

TWENTY. FRIGGEN. FOUR.

Look at these shiny red bastards. They're so pleased with themselves for being so red.

That's cutting them up, cooking them JUST enough that they don't turn into mush, making a sugar free syrup juice thing to fill the jar since my boyfriend's mom can't have sugar, washing all the jars to make sure they're sanitized, boiling the lids, filling the jars and sealing them up as tight as possible while they're still hotter than holy hell, then submerging the jars in boiling water for about twenty minutes (it ended up being an hour of boiling for each batch, since we didn't have a pot big enough, and when boyfriend's mom got one, I had to reheat the entire contents of the jar back to boiling temperature to make sure everything got completely sanitized and heated, so I had to let the sealed jars boil for an HOUR, each batch, and I could only fit a few jars in at a time, so you can imagine how long this took) and constantly checking them while they cooled to make sure the lids popped, so that they'd be sealed properly and die the horrible green fuzzy death of gross.

I never want to see another apple again in my life.

PONY

 Finally completed the plush I was working on for my boyfriend's nephew!

The mane was tricky, since it's too small for me to have done the cloth tube braiding thing I did for the tail, so I sewed it in a way that I hope it comes off looking like it was braided. All hand-sewn, the eyes were embroidered on felt (since the white fluffy cloth was too thin to embroider on without destroying it) and attached.

I'll take commissions for these, providing the designs aren't too complex. I'd have to see a reference of the character first, before being able to tell you whether or not I could do it at all, how much it'd cost and a general timeframe. So, if interested, just send me a message or comment with your e-mail!

Boyfriend

This is my boyfriend.

 NOT my best work. I can't draw him in my style, so screw it, we're Adventure Time-ing this biatch for the rest of this post!

He takes great pleasure in the fact that he is easily several times my size (I'm barely five feet tall, he's over six and built like a grizzy bear had a love child with an ox, then that child had a love child with a dinosaur, and that child was him) and uses this to his advantage mercilessly when we get into wrestling matches, whether they be tickle-based or whatever else. He also thinks it's hilarious that I get creeped out easily by things like cardboard cutouts of people, puppets, Paula Dean and this weird bug thing he does with his hand that make me squeal like a little girl and run away. He does have his own weakness though, and it comes in the form of a small bit of rubber horror.

The rubber fetus.

BLARG I CAN'T EVEN DRAW AT STYLE RIGHT I SUCK.

This thing is a weird little...thing...that got handed out at the faire from this anti-abortion booth. It's basically a little rubber representation of a fetus developed at three months-kind of like a stress ball, but if you squeeze it you feel guilty. Or...well, should feel guilty, I guess, I don't particularly feel all that bad about smashing a little squishy baby fetus. That probably doesn't speak well for my psyche, but whatever.

Anyway, this thing creeps him the heck out. Threatening to put it in his bed is usually enough to quiet his bouts of random singing in public or whatever else he's doing at the moment. I can also chase him around the house with it. This usually ends with him locking himself in his room or something (after removing the handle because I can pick locks) or something of that sort. I threw it in his room once through the barely-open door, where it landed on his bed. He promptly locked me out of the room and tried to get rid of it. I could hear him yelling from outside the door.
Zack/Boyfriend: OH GOD IT'S TOUCHING MY PANTS
Me: *snickering*
Zack: AAUUUGHHH IT'S ON MY BED
Me: Do you want me to get it?
Zack: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHGH

And it proceeded roughly that way until he finally threw it out of his room again, where I collected it, threats were made on both sides. I think I won this round...though I still have to catch up, what with all the times he's scared the ever loving daylights out of me with the stupid cutout, the pictures of Paula Dean (seriously, the way she grimaces at the camera is horrible! It's like she's baring her teeth at you!), the little firework popper things, jumping out at me or any of the other things he's done that scare or freak me out. Bargle.

He also likes shows like Jericho, which I hate because they freak me out and make me jumpier than usual - like when some jets from the nearby air base passed by really close overhead-like, so close that the scream of the engines was literally physically painful, and the windows were rattling and the whole house shook-I freaked the heck out and for a second thought it was a missile or something, and I'm not usually paranoid at all.

That's a normal thing to think all the time, right?

Aaaanywho, boyfriend is the kind of guy who waves his arms around a lot when he talks, and sometimes the arm-waving is his sole answer to things. Like, when I asked him how he could possibly be hot earlier today, since I was cold, this was his reply:

He's the only person I know who can articulate keyboard spasm into words.

Yeeeeeahhh....

But all the weirdness is okay, because I get to cuddle up to him and he doesn't seem to mind most of my weirdness, so that makes everything okay.

Even though for some reason he doesn't like me biting him. Odd.

Fairly accurate depiction of our size difference, actually. XD

Job maybe?

Working on the next post, wherein my boyfriend is evil (big surprise), but I may be getting a job...I applied at the local Lenscrafters, and will be seeing the manager tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be employed again and this one will stick. So, yay for that! If it goes through, that is. I did help out at the optometrist's my mom worked for when I was a kid, though, and I do know quite a bit about glasses and contacts...eye health in general, and I've even used a lens cutting machine before, so hopefully I'll have a leg up on the competition. Plus they didn't put out a bunch of help wanted fliers or anything, so there might not be much competition in the first place. So, here's hoping!

Musashi and the Catnip

My boyfriend's cat is a weirdo.

Okay, so, we play RPG's on friday and saturday nights, the friday games cycling between Pathfinder and a TMNT based game. My boyfriend's nephew, Melvin, has sort've a hate-hate relationship with my boyfriend's brother's cat, Dude. Dude has a habit of attacking Melvin's ankles, probably because Melvin has cats of his own and probably smells like them, and Dude is pretty territorial. This story, however, is not about him, but he does factor into it.

After everyone had arrived and we were setting up for game, Melvin headed into the kitchen for a soda. I was in there as well, debating on whether to reheat a piece of leftover pizza for dinner, make a sandwich because it was kind of warm and I didn't want to have to wait for a pizza to reheat, or just get more salsa and have tortilla chips for dinner because I didn't like the only kind of sandwich meat we had. I ended up going with the last option because I'm kind of a lazy hobo like that.

Ha, no.

Anyway, after the  obtaining of sustenance, Melvin and I started heading back, but Dude was blocking one of the exits from the kitchen looking menacingly at Melvin's ankles, his favorite biting spot. Since I didn't want Melvin to have to kick him across the hallway, I persuaded Dude to follow me by scratching at the base of his tail and leading him away so Melvin could stealthily sneak off, and deciding that it'd be a good idea to keep Dude distracted as long as possible, I found a small bag of catnip and sprinkled a bit on the ground, before putting the bag back on the countertop where it always resided.

This was a mistake.

Kids, don't do drugs.

Musashi, the small gray furball belonging to my boyfriend, had witnessed all of this from what she thought were concealing shadows under the table. (It was painfully obvious where she was, but I don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her she sucks at ninja, so I let her think I can't see her.) Upon me returning to the dining room for the game, Musashi observed Dude rolling about in drug-induced bliss on the floor, decided she wanted some of that action, and knew that Dude wasn't much when it came to sharing-so she was going to help her own damn self.

Now, the counter was just a regular kitchen counter situated beneath the cabinet that housed the dishes, about four feet-ish off the ground. We've never had a problem with Dude getting on the countertops, like, ever, because he's so fat that he can't heft his own body weight off the ground to reach anywhere near that height. Mushashi, however, is a very nible, spry, slender cat, and she has proven to be able to jump quite a bit higher than the cabinets whenever she pleases.

Musashi is fully capable of defying gravity and physics at will. Dude is barely capable of walking.

Musashi hopped up onto the counter, somehow figured out how to get the catnip bag open, and stuck her entire head inside.

Not only did she inhale the cracktastic scent of it that drives cats nuts, she also started eating it.

And the gates of Chaos opened...

Luckily I had to return to the kitchen only moments later, having heard some odd noises coming from it, and found her in that situation. I promptly seized her, removed the bag from her head and sealed it up again. This did not please her.

Seriously, kids, don't do drugs.

She started thrashing and wailing and biting like a rabid squirrel on PCP, making it very difficult for me to hold her. After putting the bag in the cabinet above the oven, where I was sure she wouldn't be able to reach it again, I decided she needed a chill pill. The best method I've discovered to calm her down is to hold her on my lap while I sit cross-legged, wrapping her up in a blanket. Usually when I have her snuggled into a cat taco, particularly if it's a soft fuzzy blanket, she will calm right down, curl up and go straight to sleep. I also seem to be the only one who this actually works with, which makes me feel somewhat special, like I'm radiating some magical aura of animal calm-makery...stuff.

It didn't work this time.

ALIEEEENNNN!!!

I tried to hold her on my lap and force her to settle down in the soft, fuzzy confines of a red plaid blanket and my own lap, but she was too determined to get to the stash and continue her drug binge for that to work. Eventually I got tired of my abdominal region and arms getting eaten by those little fishbone teeth of hers, so I banished her to her crate until such time as the drugs were out of her system.

She had to stay there overnight, and seems to have calmed down now. Other than her typical attempts to break into my boyfriend's parents' room, she hasn't really been doing anything. I'm pretty sure I should be worried by this though, as it most likely means she's plotting my demise, and phase one is to earn my trust again.

I'll have to keep an eye on this development.

All artwork on this blog is Copyright(c) to me unless otherwise stated.

And so it begins...

Hey everyone! You may know me from my other blog Faerie Fails...well, while it may take a bit to really get things rolling here (particularly since there's a lot going on in the house right now, so I really don't have a lot of time for drawing at the moment) but hopefully I'll get things going pretty soon. What I intend to do HERE is basically tell stories about the oddities of life, sort've a slice-of-life thing, but with drawings to help illustrate the stories. Sort've like a semi-comic, but not really. Eh, I don't know what the term for it would be. Anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy the weirdness that perpetually surrounds me, and that you'll enjoy the artwork I use to help tell the stories! Thanks for reading!