Okay, so, we play RPG's on friday and saturday nights, the friday games cycling between Pathfinder and a TMNT based game. My boyfriend's nephew, Melvin, has sort've a hate-hate relationship with my boyfriend's brother's cat, Dude. Dude has a habit of attacking Melvin's ankles, probably because Melvin has cats of his own and probably smells like them, and Dude is pretty territorial. This story, however, is not about him, but he does factor into it.
After everyone had arrived and we were setting up for game, Melvin headed into the kitchen for a soda. I was in there as well, debating on whether to reheat a piece of leftover pizza for dinner, make a sandwich because it was kind of warm and I didn't want to have to wait for a pizza to reheat, or just get more salsa and have tortilla chips for dinner because I didn't like the only kind of sandwich meat we had. I ended up going with the last option because I'm kind of a lazy hobo like that.
 |
| Ha, no. |
Anyway, after the obtaining of sustenance, Melvin and I started heading back, but Dude was blocking one of the exits from the kitchen looking menacingly at Melvin's ankles, his favorite biting spot. Since I didn't want Melvin to have to kick him across the hallway, I persuaded Dude to follow me by scratching at the base of his tail and leading him away so Melvin could stealthily sneak off, and deciding that it'd be a good idea to keep Dude distracted as long as possible, I found a small bag of catnip and sprinkled a bit on the ground, before putting the bag back on the countertop where it always resided.
This was a mistake.
 |
| Kids, don't do drugs. |
Musashi, the small gray furball belonging to my boyfriend, had witnessed all of this from what she thought were concealing shadows under the table. (It was painfully obvious where she was, but I don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her she sucks at ninja, so I let her think I can't see her.) Upon me returning to the dining room for the game, Musashi observed Dude rolling about in drug-induced bliss on the floor, decided she wanted some of that action, and knew that Dude wasn't much when it came to sharing-so she was going to help her own damn self.
Now, the counter was just a regular kitchen counter situated beneath the cabinet that housed the dishes, about four feet-ish off the ground. We've never had a problem with Dude getting on the countertops, like, ever, because he's so fat that he can't heft his own body weight off the ground to reach anywhere near that height. Mushashi, however, is a very nible, spry, slender cat, and she has proven to be able to jump quite a bit higher than the cabinets whenever she pleases.
 |
| Musashi is fully capable of defying gravity and physics at will. Dude is barely capable of walking. |
Musashi hopped up onto the counter, somehow figured out how to get the catnip bag open, and stuck her entire head inside.
Not only did she inhale the cracktastic scent of it that drives cats nuts, she also started eating it.
 |
| And the gates of Chaos opened... |
Luckily I had to return to the kitchen only moments later, having heard some odd noises coming from it, and found her in that situation. I promptly seized her, removed the bag from her head and sealed it up again. This did not please her.
 |
| Seriously, kids, don't do drugs. |
She started thrashing and wailing and biting like a rabid squirrel on PCP, making it very difficult for me to hold her. After putting the bag in the cabinet above the oven, where I was sure she wouldn't be able to reach it again, I decided she needed a chill pill. The best method I've discovered to calm her down is to hold her on my lap while I sit cross-legged, wrapping her up in a blanket. Usually when I have her snuggled into a cat taco, particularly if it's a soft fuzzy blanket, she will calm right down, curl up and go straight to sleep. I also seem to be the only one who this actually works with, which makes me feel somewhat special, like I'm radiating some magical aura of animal calm-makery...stuff.
It didn't work this time.
 |
| ALIEEEENNNN!!! |
I tried to hold her on my lap and force her to settle down in the soft, fuzzy confines of a red plaid blanket and my own lap, but she was too determined to get to the stash and continue her drug binge for that to work. Eventually I got tired of my abdominal region and arms getting eaten by those little fishbone teeth of hers, so I banished her to her crate until such time as the drugs were out of her system.
She had to stay there overnight, and seems to have calmed down now. Other than her typical attempts to break into my boyfriend's parents' room, she hasn't really been doing anything. I'm pretty sure I should be worried by this though, as it most likely means she's plotting my demise, and phase one is to earn my trust again.
I'll have to keep an eye on this development.
All artwork on this blog is Copyright(c) to me unless otherwise stated.
No comments:
Post a Comment